Advice for dating a commitment phobe on line dating scammers
It was my 30th birthday when Max played for my family a highlight reel of our relationship, with Norah Jones' "Come Away With Me" playing in the background. My parents popped the champagne, we toasted with plastic glasses, and he gave me a ring!Slowly, the images changed from our reminiscences to pictures of him walking on the beach—and then leaning down and writing in the sand."He's going to do it," I thought. After the proposal, Max was like a little boy on Christmas morning, sharing the news with friends and family, the way a child shows off a shiny new bicycle. I shared his excitement, but in the back of my mind, I wondered if he was buying more time.My need for commitment and children began to color everything we did or didn't do. It felt like a dream come true, an answer to my prayers.I dropped annoying hints about tying the knot, felt a pang in my chest when friends announced their engagements, and began to view our rock-solid relationship like it was teetering on top of Angels Landing. When the camera panned back to the words "will you..." imprinted in the sand, he got down on one knee.Max finally told me, "I can't get married." I packed my things and left. In the weeks and months afterward, I tried to visualize what my new life would be like without him. I lived my days in a fog of tears and spent nights as a walking cliché, nose-deep in break-up books with Chardonnay and chocolate to numb the pain.
So I backed off and gave him space while the clock ticked away.
We watched these couples break engagements and marriages, thankful that our relationship was solid.
But over time, I began to question why we hadn't jumped on the marriage track.
Before I knew what was happening, our faces were inches apart, hands were roaming, and we were nearly kissing."This is getting dangerous," I said. In the midst of the exciting romance that ensued, I completely lost my footing.
Like anyone in love, I began to float through life. For example, two weeks after that first kiss, he whisked me away to Joshua Tree, where we stayed at a campground with no running water and I had a blast. Max stretched my comfort zone, or maybe I was just willing to be uncomfortable if he was by my side.