Baptist christian dating

Use an ace bandage or knitting yarn to tie your penis back against your stomach or underneath your hiney.

If you tuck instead of tie, make sure that the tip of your penis does not curl back far enough to enter the hole in your hiney where you go poopy out of - otherwise you might accidentally sodomize yourself and inadvertently become a homosexual.

Use the time at the restaurant to find out if your sweetheart is really saved. Make sure she knows the exact day and hour (and preferably the exact minute) she met Jesus.

If you have not had a nightly emission before your date, make certain that you take extra precaution.

You are looking for a woman who will not squander your income or lean toward gossip.

You are looking for a woman who will submit and obey, for there is no other way for a marriage to honor God without following the strict Biblical principles that God has laid out for us in the Bible.

Take her to your church and drop her off by the back gate with a note to the pastor taped to her forehead.

The Bible teaches us that God wants the best for us: "For I know the plans I have for you — declares the LORD.Some Christian phrases that will help you "woo" the lesser sex are, "I'm almost as crazy about you as I am about Jesus," "Your long hair is the glory of your humility (I Corinthians 11: 11-15)," and "God broke the mold when he made your sweet face."Make certain that there is no personal contact (PC) on this first date.Even if she has said "yes" to marriage, it is highly recommended that you refrain from even holding hands for at least two years until the courtship is over and you are whisked away on your honeymoon!It is always handy to have the engagement ring available.When you are on the date, use awkward moments of silence to quote scripture, or sing a favorite hymn. If she is not woo'd by this, it is a sign that she might be possessed by a demon.

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You are looking for a woman who has kept herself pure for her future husband and for the Lord Jesus Christ.

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